Looking for Pleasant Surprises

I never imagined I would become a hockey fan.  Of all the sports I have been exposed to, hockey was one of the few that just never captured my interest--mostly because I couldn't make sense of it.  Even when I had friends who played in college and I would attend their games to support them, I didn't get it--and I didn't care to put much energy into getting it.  These days, I find myself sacrificing sleep to watch the Bruins in the playoffs, talking with co-workers about last minute wins and griping about terrible calls.  It's surprising---even to me--so I was curious to examine how this happened.

The most obvious thing is that I found a reason to care about hockey.  My significant other really enjoys hockey.  It matters to him and seeing the Bruins play is important to him.  I started watching games with him, doing other things like paying bills or sorting mail or fixing the hem on a skirt, while he cheered and groaned.  Gradually, I understood a bit more of what was happening--he explained, I asked, it all started to come together.  It is also nice to enjoy (or be disappointed by) the game with him.  We get to share an experience when I actually watch and try to understand what's happening, otherwise, we are just two people in the same place--me sewing, him watching hockey.  Taking the former approach allows us to share our responses and to experience excitement or disappointment together--and the chance at having that connection certainly helped to motivate me to care more about hockey.

I have also realized that learning and appreciating something new has its own appeal--especially in this case where I had decided I would never like or understand hockey.  First, there is a sense of accomplishment and even a little pride in understanding something I never thought I would understand.  Second, there is a surprise in liking something I never thought I would enjoy.  It feels like I'm a different person is some ways, and knowing I can grow and change and surprise even myself is reassuring.  Life gets boring when it is too stagnant and even though that is comfortable, I would rather know that some facet of my life or some aspect of how I define myself (not a hockey lover in this case) can change.

Is there something you wish you had, or a connection with a person you wish was stronger, or an interest of your own that you wish was more present.  If so, do something that connects you to that--even if you tried it before and didn't like it.  Want some space in your life? Try meditation.  Have a good friend who loves sushi--go out to her favorite restaurant for dinner.  Have a friend who loves baseball? Watch a game together.  Pick up that novel you put down after 10 pages 2 years ago.  Try rock climbing--again.  Call your mother just to say hi.  Give yourself the permission to still hate whatever it was you just tried.  Give yourself the permission to change your mind and enjoy it.

It is a gift to be surprised by our own lives--and to get that gift, we have to be willing to try something--something new or something we turned away from before.  Not doing that is a sure way to stay who we were yesterday.  It's much more fun to be in the moment--that is where the surprises are--so try it.  Do something now that isn't informed by what used to be.  You might just be pleasantly surprised.

Spring Cleaning

Each spring of my childhood, my mother and grandmother would pick a Saturday in the early spring and do their spring cleaning.  They cleaned regularly but this Saturday was a time for the most extensive sort of clearing out and cleaning up.  They had my father and grandfather up on ladders, cleaning gutters, washing windows, taking shutters off to hose them down--and inside the house every curtain was coming down, every sheet and blanket was peeled off the beds and buckets of Lysol scented water made their way throughout the house for shelves and walls and floors to be scoured.  This cleaning was so extensive that it required some preparation and coordination--the date was chosen and we all knew to prepare for spring cleaning well in advance--and it took the full day--we started at 7 am and usually didn't finish until after dinner when the last curtains went back up and the beds were reassembled just in time to collapse into them. There was also something really refreshing and beautiful that spring cleaning gave us--everything looked and smelled newer, fresher--and the light in the house was different as the season changed outside.  There was something satisfying about the alignment between the world outside the house and inside of it.

Looking back, one thing I appreciate about those spring cleaning days was the fresh start, the reset.  Nothing really changed and still, it all felt different.  Sometimes we need just that--a reason to look at what we are used to seeing with a new set of eyes.  Spring cleaning always brought that shift in perspective.  Through the clean windows and freshly washed curtains, the light was brighter and the outside world was more vibrant.  The fresh scent of outside would come off the curtains for days after they had been dried on the clothesline.  It strikes me that sometimes life and our looking at it calls out for a reset.  It is possible to make that happen in our lives when we need it.  I know I was feeling sort of tired and as if my energy was dragging.  I decided to do a fruit cleanse--and put it on the calendar for after two big events I had been dreading, just to create a fresh start for myself.  If there is something you are feeling not quite happy about, maybe it's time for a spring cleaning of sorts.  Where are you stuck and what would cause a shift? Maybe you have found yourself being snappy with your loved ones.  Take a day off, an evening off, or if you can swing it, a weekend away.  Maybe you are feeling tired.  Cut out TV and be in bed by 9 with a good book for a week.  Perhaps you are wanting to restart your exercise routine.  Take a walk after work or first thing in the morning.  Maybe your schedule feels too busy.  Schedule 2 or 3 hours of open space for yourself once a week for a month.  What the reset looks like depends on what you want to shift, but take a lesson from my grandmother--put it on the calendar and then commit to it with all your energy. Get others involved in your project.  And then appreciate what's different, knowing you have the option to create that shift any time you choose.